Snarky Atheist
How religion started
A: Hmmm... I wonder how the world was created/what happens when we die/how I can decide how to live my life...
B: Dude, wouldn't it be WHACKY if this great bearded sky fairy was watching us all the time and he knew all those things?
A: It totally would!
B: Yeah, but when you really think about it, it's kinda--
A: NO STFU BLASPHEMY SKYFAIRY IT IS.
B: But if you even start to ask questions--
A: [stones B to death]
Who determined…

malsysue9:

that a house and a job are what defines you

that a college education puts you ahead of others

that love was intended to be monogamous

that a man can only love a woman

that family comes first

Jesus did.

makeshiftreplica:

How i feel about the recent god sharing on Facebook.

makeshiftreplica:

How i feel about the recent god sharing on Facebook.

Jehovah’s Witnesses

A couple of witnesses came to my door yesterday.

I showed them my titties.  They left.

Praise the Lord.

I think it’s fascinating

That I got me a caring, wonderful, burly, atheist man, but when I tell him explicitly that I want him to have sex with other women, he tells me that I’m all he needs.

If I did believe in God I’d have to say he has a great sense of humor. 

wonkyminds:

oh stop it

wonkyminds:

oh stop it

Hey girl, you wanna know why they call me the Trinity?
Call 1-800-JESUSFKS and get FILLED with the Holy Spirit.
(available in White, Jewish, Middle-Eastern, and Black models)

Hey girl, you wanna know why they call me the Trinity?

Call 1-800-JESUSFKS and get FILLED with the Holy Spirit.

(available in White, Jewish, Middle-Eastern, and Black models)

Jesus

How come no one ever brags about their Jesus-shaped turds?